You know that moment right before you’re about to say something hurtful to your husband? And then the shameful feeling afterward when you couldn’t restrain yourself? I’m pretty familiar with that cycle. I had this habit of complaining about my husband’s career, a job he loves, believes in, works tirelessly to excel at—a job that provides well for our family. However, his career in the military requires significant sacrifice for our family, a fact that used to leave me resentful.
Whenever I expressed my frustrations with his job, I could tell it hurt him. He was trying his best to balance work and home, but I wasn’t satisfied. After years of grumbling, I finally got sick of my discontent and thought, “I can’t change his job, but I can choose to focus on the positives.” Then I had to look inward and decide if I was holding up my end of the deal and actively pursuing ways to be a better wife. It’s easy to point the finger in marriage, but hard to look in the mirror. So ask yourself these 25 questions and see where you have room to grow.